when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
