she woke up with a sticky ear
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
