I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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