The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
