I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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