did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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