I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
