Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
