she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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