The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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