Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
