new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
