He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I met the friendliest cop last night
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
