What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
