Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
as a side note pls kill me
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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