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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
