Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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