what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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