i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
