we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
