I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
