I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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