I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
