Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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