I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
