thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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