If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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