There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
