If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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