By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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