Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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