Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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