the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
