I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Ketchup is God's man juice
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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