Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
