Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
