Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Bring me that man meat
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
