This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
