We're like a lot better than the average bears
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
