one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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