I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
