yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
