i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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