I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
