May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
