so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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