she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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