Me too!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Panties = found
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