happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
