So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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