you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
